SweetTart

Today I woke up and felt great! Although I've had some slippage in my 1,000 claorie a day limit, it hasn't been by too much and I've come nowhere near 2,000! So, I'll just accept that little victory and learn from my mistakes. I've only had one time when I totally lost it and that was last night. My roommate is dating a guy who works at a VEGAN ICE CREAM PLANT. He makes vegan ice cream. He brings my roommate gallons. So, I already have a problem with bad food being in my apartment. I get this crazy idea that if I eat the bad food in my apartment and get it over with, it won't be there to annoy me and make things harder daily. Any ideas on how to not eat the bad food that my roommate buys? I resist most things. Like if she only had a pint of ice cream, it wouldn't bother me. But this is a plastic gallon tub. I don't eat her cereals. Sometimes I slip and have one of her pops. She doesn't drink diet. It's 50/50 sometimes with dealing with the presence of bad foods. I don't buy them, an easy fix so I won't be tempted. But when that's out of my control, as I share a fridge with someone else, I can't control everything that goes in there.

I'm .5 lbs away from my lowest weight of 126! I really think I can surpass my goal of 125 for the end of February.

Monday: In = 910, Out = 2769, Total Cals = -1859 GREEN DAY! (a Green Day is when I have a calorie deficiency of 1,500 or more. Those are the best days!)
Tuesday: 128.5 In = 1355, Out = 1700, Total Cals = -345 (Blue Day :( I didn't make it to a deficiency of 1,000, my everyday goal since the very very beginning. The goal that outweighs (haha!) my calorie intake rule)
Wednesday: 128 In = 1370, Out = 2113, Total = -743 (Blue Day)

Today is my early day off work and my derby practice has been cancelled so I have the whole afternoon! I'm going to go to the grocery store and buy some fruit! some fresh veggies! SKIM milk (my roomie keeps buying 1% :[ ), FF cottage cheese, fresh fish and hummus.

I called P___ last night and we have a date for this weekend. My moods are so changing. Yesterday I couldn't give a crap if a boy was interested in me, but today... Today I feel like kissing someone. I think that's because my weight is down and I'm feeling really good about myself. That I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. I have the willpower (most of the time) to say, "no." We will see how I feel tomorrow to see if that moment of ice cream weakness will make me bloat it up. But in general, I think February has gotten off to a really good start.

I spent way too much money on make up yesterday! I was sick of hating my circles and zits and uneven skin and I decided I would do something about it. I love my outfit today. My hair is cooperating and this skirt is feeling a little loose. I tried on jeans yesterday and I bought a size 4. In my mind, I know that people think a size 4 is small. But... because I lost weight at such a rate (60 lbs in one year, 70 now) my skin is very loose. And I can see where my thighs still touch. I also bought some cute underwear in case things with P___ get sexy };) So... I'm finding a little satisfaction that I'm a size 4, and that size 4 is considered skinny by most people but I know I'm not satisfied until that scale says 110. When my BMI is finally at 18.5. That's when I'll be happy. But that's probably not going to be for a little while yet, maybe by the summer.

Today's Plan:
Work
Buy myself a little skinny reward- I think I'll get a book, or maybe some jewelry...
Go Home
Get High
Small calorie snack (OMG! My favorite new low-cal munchies cure?: Nature's Path Organic Heritage Os. Only 120 calories per serving (3/4 cup)and they are really dense and crunchy! Very filling for stoners with ED. I eat it dry, slowly and I like them if they're a bit stale, that way they are crunchier! Haha


Go to the Grocery Store (I should take a horrible fat picture of myself with me )
Get High
Have my calories
Put away some clothes?
Lay in bed and watch movies and go to sleep early!

Today is going to be super good!