I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL

This blog is about my eating disorder: Anorexia Nervosa. If you are recovering, please do not read, as this blog can be triggering. I am not Pro-Ana.
I do not give advice.
I do not want you to tell me to stop.
I want to write and think about my life with anorexia. If you would like to read and think about a life effected by this particular ED, then please read on, otherwise, thank-you and good-bye.

Monday, March 1, 2010

AGAIN

It is March. Monday. The first. New beginnings and plans. Another start to try not to fuck it up.

I weighed myself this morning and it is not good. I can't even type it, its so gross. I am fat and stupid and can't hack it.

Started purging as a last resort. 3 times last week. Purging scares me. Potassium, electrolytes... whatever. If I'm not 120lbs by April I will do something insane. I don't know.

Whatever! I hate this! I'm going to be 110 by May.

That's that. No discussion. Period.
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2 comments:

  1. quinnMarch 1, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    Purging freaks me out too...I still do it but I remain in a quivering state of terror before, during and after. Here's to new starts! Take care, x

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  2. Malibu SkydiverMarch 8, 2010 at 1:10 PM

    me too. Oh god. I thought even though both types of ED are dangerous, Bulimia is so much scarier to me. But I don't know what else to do once its in my body. I just HAVE to get it out!

    Be careful, Sunshine. We'll find a way out someday.

    Love to you!

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